Felicity Ey (Class of 2002) – The Value of Giving
Posted on July 2, 2025
The Value of Giving
By Felicity Ey
Mum and dad put the three of us through friends, and I saw the sacrifices that they made to be able to do that. They put a focus on, and made a big decision and commitment for, our education. I think that the holistic education that Friends’ provides is something really special and something that my parents really valued. The opportunity to go to a school like Friends’ is something that should be there for people from all walks of life and not just there for people that can afford the school fees.
There’s a lot of financial support there for members of the school community. I find that really encouraging that the opportunity is being afforded to a wide range of people and it’s not just based on their academic performance to qualify. It can be based on their community engagement and all sorts of reasons which is something that I think that the community gains from, not just the school. That’s really important to me.
I think it’s really important to be exposed to people from different backgrounds while you’re going through your formative years because everyone lives a life of privilege. Not everyone holidays overseas every year, not everyone has financial security that some people grow up with and I think that it’s important for students to be aware of that.
When I studied at the school, my mother ran the women’s shelter across the road from Friends’. So, I would go from being at a leading independent school, I’d walk across the road and see people that were homeless. It was a very humbling experience because you’re at lunchtime talking with people that have the opportunity to enjoy overseas travel in the school holidays, and then next thing you’re having a conversation with someone that was sleeping rough the night before.
I think it’s everything to do with Quaker values. It’s not showing off, it’s not an extravagant life that Quakers lead. It’s not about having the latest and greatest things but about community giving and about supporting one another. And so scholarships are there to support people that don’t necessarily have the means to provide for their family.
Needs based scholarships even out the playing field for people to have opportunities to have access to a really good education and all it takes is for one member of a family to be lifted up with good education to change outcomes for that entire family and generations moving forward. So I think that it’s essential.
So I think it’s with hindsight that you can reflect on your time at Friends’. At the time I was there at school it wasn’t “wow this is something really profound” but looking back and realising it is that holistic education, that you are a citizen of the world. It is being involved in writing letters in amnesty, it’s being aware of what’s going on in conflict, it’s around the world. It’s having that understanding that we may not be able to resolve things, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t be compassionate for people that are going through things.
So I think and that all comes with hindsight. As I’ve gotten older the school motto Nemo sibi nascitur. I can’t tell you how often I say that to people and everyone looks at me and I say “but it’s so true because none of us can exist in ourselves”. We can be introverted, absolutely, but we still need human connection with others and we still need to show compassion for others. Until you’ve been out of school for a long time you don’t realise that that’s been fostered in you in such a gentle way. It’s not doctrine, it’s just a very gentle approach.
You can pick someone that’s gone to friends a mile away and I have been told that I’m classless, in the sense that I can talk to anyone from any walk of life. It doesn’t matter who they are. And I think that that comes from your education and being able to approach people. Friday lunchtimes we used to go down and sell buttons to raise money for different charities. We used to walk down to North Hobart and North Hobart’s a melting pot of people. So, it’s just all of those little community service things that we used to do that have helped shape who I am today.
